What to expect when you’re…not expecting it!

Blog by Kayla Berzins - mum to Charlotte, 11 months


“The work of a mother is hard, too often unheralded work. Please know that it is worth it then, now, and forever.” —Jeffrey R. Holland 

It’s no secret that being a mum (or dad) is a tough business. There are countless tears and sleepless nights, frustrating times, and moments that make you just want to give up.

I couldn't tell you the amount of times I have said, “yep! I’m definitely not having any more children!” And yet, entwined in all this madness there is something that draws us in; that makes our hearts swell. These are the speechless moments, the happy tears, the contagious laughs and the pure ecstasy we get from these little humans that never cease to surprise.

There were some obvious things that I just wasn't expecting before I entered motherhood. The fatigue for example. I could imagine being tired, but I never imagined being that tired! I imagined tender nipples but didn't believe my doctor when she said breastfeeding in the beginning can be 'toe curlingly painful' (FYI I believe her now!).

But one thing I never could have imagined was the utter joy I would feel as I watched my little girl develop this funny little personality that was all her own. She has made me laugh so hard and wonder how such a little thing could know how to be so funny!

So what other things were mums not expecting before they became the amazing, scary, ultimate role of, MUM? I asked some new and not-so-new mums what surprised them – and the results were beautiful.

A few mums retold of the way their baby had brought their extended family closer together. “There's something about having a baby around that really re-boots the family bond. We're a lot closer and family gatherings are so much nicer,” says Kristy, mum to 1-year-old Luther.

These mums were also passionate about the way their children had given their life so much more purpose. Lizzie, mother of 3-year-old Tommy and 1-year-old Emma, now feels a great sense of purpose to her reason here on earth. “I’m still pinching myself at how lucky and blessed I am that they chose me to do the job!” Likewise, Ash, mother of 11-month-old Arlo, didn't realise how complete having a baby could make her feel. “They say having a baby is one of the most rewarding things you can do, and it's true. I have never felt more complete.”

“One more thing!" Lizzie chimes in. "How suddenly capable you become. Simply because you have to be. Sick as a dog and you'll still get up to see to them and that's no trouble at all."

Roxy, new mum to 4-month-old Alexis described becoming a mum as a new found happiness. “…and proud (a feeling I find hard to have anywhere else), but completely totally proud of how adorable, unique, beautiful our little bundle is!”

Enjoying the simple things in life was a new found joy to Elyce, mother of 1-year-old (and famous for her hair), Saige. “Simply being at home, playing with toys and watching bub is so great.” Elyce also notes that since having Saige, she feels more confident when socialising with people she doesn't know. Samantha, mum to 6-month-old Isla has experienced that same feeling of confidence. “I have noticed that things that would have stressed me out before, now don't seem to phase me as much and I can let things go a lot easier. I guess because I can see the bigger picture now and being a mum is more important than anything else I will ever do,” she says.

We often hear of parents having unconditional love for their children. But for Tammie, mother of 1-year-old Braxton and 2.5-year-old Evelyn, she was surprised by the unconditional love that her kids gave to her. “…As a mum you are the one constant and comfortable thing in their little lives. All of their ‘first' milestones are the most satisfying and proud moments you live for now...to watch them grow into little people that you've helped shape is a beautiful experience. I also didn't expect I could love something or someone as much as I do my kids.”

So there you have it. Despite the struggles and challenges, these are the moments that help us keep on keeping on. They are the moments that make us think…hmmm, maybe l’ll have just one more!

Photo credit: Organa Photography