The time to wean your baby is when you or your baby decide that it is right, taking into account the needs of your baby, yourself and your home and family situation.

Try not to be influenced by well-meaning friends and relatives into weaning before you consider the time is right. If you are undecided about what to do, then perhaps a chat with an Australian Breastfeeding Association counsellor may help.

Breastmilk by itself contains all the nourishment needed to promote healthy growth and development in babies for the first half year of life. While babies begin to have other foods and drinks from about six months onwards, breastmilk is still the major part of the growing baby's diet. No matter how long you continue to breastfeed, your milk is always nutritious and absolutely right for your baby's stage of development.

Slowly reducing the number of breastfeeds further protects your baby during the weaning period. Although you are making less and less milk, your baby is still receiving added protection from the milk you do produce. Breastmilk contains more antibodies to bacterial and viral diseases as weaning progresses. This is one of its protective functions and ensures that as your baby is being introduced to new foods and is exploring new surroundings. While he is becoming less and less dependent on you, you are still giving him that extra protective boost before he is finally weaned.

When to wean

This is a very personal decision, which must take into consideration the needs of baby and mother, as well as the home and family situation. You may want to, or you may have to, wean early. Try to make it gradual if this is the case. On the other hand, you may want to wean later - into your baby's second year, or later. Ideally it is best not to set a time limit for weaning unless it is absolutely necessary. This allows both you and your baby time to enjoy a happy and relaxed breastfeeding relationship, and also allows time for you both to adjust gradually to a close relationship without breastfeeding.

Weaning is said to start as soon as you introduce anything other than breastmilk into your baby's diet ie boiled water, juices, solid foods, other milks. However, most of us refer to weaning as the period during which our babies come to have fewer and fewer breastfeeds until they are completely nourished by other foods and drinks.

Mutual weaning

Naturally, as the months pass and your baby begins to eat more of other foods, he will be less hungry for breastmilk. During the second half of his first year, as he learns to drink from a cup, you may like to introduce him to other fluids. These will begin to replace some of the breastmilk in his diet.

Baby-led weaning

Sometimes, often when you are not expecting it, your baby will decide for himself that he has had enough. Depending on the age of your baby and the number of feeds he was having, you can feel very disappointed, sad and even rejected. This is especially so if you were looking forward to many more months of leisurely feeding. You may even feel that you are grieving. Sometimes it could be a temporary case of breast refusal. You may like to chat with an Australian Breastfeeding Association counsellor or read our booklet Coping with Breast Refusal.

Mother-led weaning

Here are some reasons why you may make the decision to wean:

• You may have tried to limit the number of feeds your older baby has, or tried some of the other ways of handling your breastfeeding toddler.
• You have had enough. Mothers of older babies and toddlers may sometimes feel like this. It tends to go hand in hand with a baby who loves to feed frequently, especially during the night. As a mother, you may begin to feel your body is not your own, and that you are being 'used'.
• You wish to become pregnant and breastfeeding is possibly preventing ovulation from occurring. Or, you are pregnant and you wish to wean. Many older babies wean naturally as your milk supply tends to diminish of its own accord. You may like to read the Australian Breastfeeding Association booklet, Breastfeeding Through Pregnancy and Beyond, which offers more information on this subject.
• You have been advised to wean for medical reasons. Have you discussed with your medical adviser whether weaning is the only alternative? The Australian Breastfeeding Association booklet Breastfeeding and Hospitalisation or your local breastfeeding counsellor will give you extra information in this area.

You don't have to wean …

Sometimes a mother is pressured to wean, even though both she and her baby are enjoying breastfeeding. She may have been told to wean for one of the following reasons:

Milk quality or quantity

Low milk supply can be increased. There is no need to wean if your young baby is becoming fussy. You may have heard talk of milk 'drying up' or milk not being 'rich enough', or becoming 'thin and watery'. Mature human milk is naturally bluish and looks thin in comparison to other milks. Your body makes milk that is perfectly tailored for the needs of your baby. If you are concerned about the amount of milk you are making, check that you are feeding your baby when he asks to be fed. Very young babies need at least six feeds in 24 hours with many having eight to 12.

Going back to work

Many women return to work and continue to wholly or partially breastfeed. It is possible to express and store breastmilk so that your baby can still receive your milk in your absence. This is discussed in the Australian Breastfeeding Association booklet Breastfeeding, Women and Work.

Sick baby or mother

Because breastmilk is so easily digested, it is usually well tolerated by sick babies. Breastfeeding is a tremendous source of comfort to a sick or distressed child, and a reassurance for the mother that she is helping her baby. If you are ill, you may want to feed less for a short while, but when you are feeling better, you will be able to build up your supply by feeding more frequently. Talk to your medical adviser about the effects on your milk of any medication you are taking. It is rarely necessary to wean to protect your baby from your illness.

Troubles with biting

Many babies get their first teeth between six and nine months of age. You do not have to wean once teeth appear. These teeth should not cause any discomfort to you while your baby is sucking, as she feeds with her tongue over her bottom teeth, and is generally adept at keeping her top teeth from clamping down on your areola or nipple. Occasionally an older, heavier baby may 'drag' on the nipple causing a sore patch on the areola where the top teeth rub. The Australian Breastfeeding Association booklet Weaning looks at biting in more detail.

Refusal to suck

Some babies pass through a stage of refusing the breast. This is frequently due to teething discomfort, a cold or sore throat, or your baby just not wanting the breast as frequently as you are offering it. Her feeding pattern may be changing as she is growing older. Do not force her to feed. Remember that as she grows older, she can empty the breast very efficiently, often in just a few minutes.
If however, she seems to be refusing every feed, it is important to remain calm, and to be patient, since her desire to suck will almost certainly return in a few days. As the reasons for breast refusal can be complex, it may be helpful to discuss the problem with an association counsellor and read the Australian Breastfeeding Association booklet Coping with Breast Refusal for more suggestions.

Return of menstrual cycle

If you have not already done so, you will most likely resume your normal menstrual cycle after weaning. However, as menstruation can resume before weaning at any time from a few weeks after the birth of your baby, no predictions can be made about when an individual mother will resume her menstrual cycle. There is no need to wean because of the return of menstruation.
Some mothers notice that their babies seem fussy a few days before their period starts and for the first couple of days of the cycle. This may be due to premenstrual tension in the mother or fluctuations in her milk supply. Changing hormone levels in a mother's body causes both of these. It usually settles down quickly, particularly if the mother is able to fit in a few extra feeds to boost her milk supply.

Pregnant and still breastfeeding

If you become pregnant again, you may find that your milk supply decreases and your baby may begin to wean himself. But if he wants to continue breastfeeding, you are feeling well and are also happy to continue, then there will be plenty of time to wean him over the next few months. The Australian Breastfeeding Association's booklet Breastfeeding Through Pregnancy and Beyond discusses many of the options you have.

Community pressure

There is sometimes an unexpected pressure to wean that you may encounter as your baby grows older. This may come from your family, friends or neighbours. This is when you may need the moral support of other mothers of older breastfeeding babies. The Australian Breastfeeding Association group meetings are one source of this support. Another source of support is a subscription to the association. It is harder to feed a toddler discreetly even though you may wear convenient clothes. You can avoid some situations that could be awkward for you. The Weaning booklet lists many tips.

Breastfeeding Problems

Sometimes, in spite of the best efforts of a mother and the people who are supporting her, difficulties arise which seem insurmountable.
While it is very uncommon for a woman to be physically unable to produce milk, factors such as a baby who does not suck well over a long period, or tension, fatigue or depression can make breastfeeding seem very difficult. Many mothers have overcome problems with patience, persistence and family support. A call to an Australian Breastfeeding Association counsellor can help - whether it is to overcome a breastfeeding problem, or to come to terms with a decision to stop breastfeeding. She will reassure you that loving mothering does not depend only on breastfeeding.
You and your baby can enjoy lots of skin contact, rocking and cuddling. If you can accept that you will not be breastfeeding your baby any longer, you will be able to give your baby, and the rest of your family, the best of yourself and be a relaxed and loving mother.

Planned weaning

If you need to wean quickly, here are some suggestions that will make weaning more comfortable for you and less upsetting for you and your baby.

• Your milk supply will gradually dwindle as milk is removed less often.
• Depending on your baby's age and need for sucking, you can wean on to a cup or a bottle.
• Start by not offering the breastfeed that your baby seems least interested, and then cut out one breastfeed every few days, or one each week, depending on your own comfort, and your baby's willingness to cooperate.
• Whether you replace the missed feeds with infant formula, cows' milk or juice, will depend on the age of your baby and the other foods and drinks she is having. Ask your child health nurse to help you with this.
• Make sure you are still giving your baby lots of cuddles and more time with you.
• If your breasts become engorged, hand express or use a hand pump until you are comfortable. Do not try to empty your breasts. You do not want to encourage your supply to increase.

If your baby is unwilling to follow your lead, here are some further ideas, which will also help reduce your own supply of milk as your breasts are being stimulated less:

• Offer your baby a dummy for extra sucking if needed.
• Give your baby infant formula before breastmilk, if doing both at the same feed.
• Offer one breast only at a time and ensure that your baby has plenty of other drinks.
• Feed your baby to a definite routine if this is possible.

Weaning toddlers

In many cultures, weaning can occur between two years and four years.

Toddlers and older children still receive nutritional benefits and immunological protection from breastmilk, but many mothers believe that the emotional security is the most important aspect of their feeding relationship.

Advantages of feeding the older baby and weaning slowly:

• The child is able to outgrow infancy at her own pace.
• The emotional security of being able to turn to mother's breast for comfort is of great importance to many toddlers. For these children, the trust they have developed in your acceptance of their needs is part of their secure development.

Ideas on how to start weaning toddlers

If you want to start weaning your older baby or toddler, you may like to work on the principle of 'never offer but never refuse'. Other mothers find that there are circumstances where to refuse is appropriate.

Work on setting limits to breastfeeding that are realistic for you and your child. Some or all of the following ideas may help you do this:

Weaning the older baby or toddler - gradually

• Be out of bed and dressed, with the bed made before your baby gets up in the morning (more difficult if you have an early riser!).
• Change your daily routine. Try to be out at times when your baby would normally be having a breastfeed. He may accept a cup or bottle if he is not at home.
• Get someone else (Dad, or a relative) to attend to baby if he wakes at night.
• Get Dad, or another relative to give your baby his infant formula or alternative drink or food.

You may find that although you stop making a great deal of milk fairly quickly, you will still make some milk for quite some time. You may need to express from time to time under the shower if you seem to be getting full. Only express if you are uncomfortable, and only express enough milk to relieve the full feeling.

Allow time

Allow quite a few months, up to six months at least. Do not expect weaning to happen in a week. An older baby can often understand more that he can say.

Talk to him

Talk about what is happening to build up an expectation of eventual weaning. You can point out older admired children who are weaned and tell him that one day he will be big like that and not need your milk any more. Praise him. Say 'aren't you growing up! You went all morning without a breastfeed!' If you are pregnant and your nipples are sore, tell him so. Many toddlers will agree to just a few sucks and a cuddle, with a book and something to eat or drink afterwards. This will help you in awkward situations too. Some toddlers will accept postponement of a feed to 'later'.

Reduce feeding to sleep

These feeds are generally the hardest to drop as it may be the only way your toddler will have a nap, go to sleep at night, or settle again in the middle of the night.
Plan a change of routine gradually so you are not feeding to sleep (eg feed in another room), but give as much time, love and comfort as you can when putting your child to sleep - singing, rocking, reading a story, patting her, whatever helps. Gradually reduce the time at the breast to just enough to settle, placing the emphasis on the story, song etc rather than on the breastfeed.

Stretch out daytime feeds

Gradually increase the time between his sleep-time feed and actually putting him to bed, so that they are no longer associated, and then the feed can eventually be dropped. Distractions and persuading the child to take substitutes seem to be the most satisfactory answers for weaning a toddler off daytime feeds. Have set times for feeds eg only at home, only after lunch, no in-between snacks. Those toddlers who can understand seem to be able to handle this. Anticipate boredom, restlessness and the need for a change of activity.

Discourage long feeds

If you have always left your baby at the breast until she has finished the feed by herself, or fallen asleep, it may take time for her to accept that you're making feeds shorter. Try to substitute something interesting eg 'Come on, get down, we'll go for a walk.' Or, 'We will just have a little feed and then we will go and see if Grandma is home.' An older toddler might like to count the sucks.

Offer something novel

Iceblocks, ice in a mug, frozen yoghurt, drinks or favourite snacks can help to distract him.

Avoid morning feeds

If you share your bed with your toddler and she usually has an early morning feed, you could try getting up before she wakes. Be already dressed and she may forget about the breast and go to breakfast and play. Use older children or Dad to help distract her.

Wear different clothes

When you go out with your toddler, avoid wearing clothes that allow easy access to the breasts. Avoid undressing in front of your child, as this tends to be a reminder.

Change the routine

Helpful friends or relatives may be able to look after a toddler during the day to help change a routine, with Mum close by if needed. A child usually reacts differently with people he knows well and will take substitute drink and food and forget a favourite breastfeed.

Cut out night feeds

These may be the hardest to stop because of convenience. Try all the ideas suggested for putting to sleep without a feed and be prepared for a very gradual changeover from feeding for comfort to comforting in other ways (even still taking the child back to bed with you). Dads can be particularly helpful, since they are not associated with breastfeeds.

Consider child's sucking need

If your child really appears to need the sucking, weaning on to a bottle may be better than going directly to a cup. Give a short breastfeed, then the bottle. Take it slowly, at the child's pace and be prepared for the bottle to be rejected at times.

Finally, if you are weaning because you have had enough, but your toddler is reluctant, you are likely to have times when you feel very tense and even angry about feeding him. Your toddler may sense this and worry about it, and his anxiety may make him ask for more feeds. This can become an unpleasant cycle; he becomes more anxious and more demanding and you become more upset and irritable.

Have a good look at the situation. What are the things that interfere with your feeding her happily? Are there times and places when you particularly resent it? Perhaps you can't sit down at the phone or with a book without her helping herself.

Perhaps you are experiencing pressure to wean from those close to you. Or is your sleep being disturbed by constant night-feeding? These are the things to tackle first. You might find it easier if you talk to someone else (for example, an Australian Breastfeeding Association counsellor) about what is happening. Often it helps just to share your feelings with an understanding friend, and together you may be able to think of ways to overcome these problem situations.

You may feel sad, weepy, even depressed after the last feed, regardless of whether you were really wanting to wean, or if all went smoothly and calmly. These are very natural feelings. Your hormones take some time to get back to normal, especially if you have had to wean quickly. Some women do not begin to menstruate immediately and some even find the return of their ovulation and menstruation delayed for some months.

You may be surprised to find that your newly-weaned baby or toddler behaves differently for a while. Even if he has taken the initiative and weaned himself, he still may take a little time to get used to the idea. Occasionally, he may be clingy, or perhaps irritable, or perhaps push you away for a short time as he fluctuates between wanting to be a baby again and striving for new independence.