Negative emotions that occur with your let-down reflex
D-MER is a rare condition which some breastfeeding women experience.
D = Dysphoric (uneasy, dissatisfied or restless)
MER = Milk ejection reflex (the ‘let-down’ reflex)
Women with D-MER feel negative emotions seconds before and during their let-down reflex. It typically happens when they are breastfeeding or expressing and can also happen if their breasts let down at times when they aren't breastfeeding.
D-MER is very different from Postnatal Depression (PND) or an anxiety disorder. D-MER is associated with negative emotions that only happen with the let-down reflex.
Feelings associated with D-MER
Women use many different words to describe the feelings they experience with D-MER. Some of the most common are:
a hollow or sinking feeling in the stomach
tension
frustration
overwhelm
agitation
anxiety
sadness
dread
emotional upset
angst
irritability
hopelessness or doom.
Some mums with D-MER report mild to moderate symptoms. For example, they may describe it as a 'sigh'. Others may experience severe symptoms including thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
Symptoms of D-MER may decrease or disappear in the first few months after birth, or they may keep going throughout breastfeeding. However long it lasts, most mums find their D-MER gets easier to manage as their baby gets older.
What causes D-MER?
It is thought that D-MER occurs because of inappropriate activity of hormones, such as dopamine and oxytocin, when the let-down reflex is triggered. Research is being done to find the specific underlying cause and most effective treatments for D-MER.
D-MER is estimated to affect around 5-15% of breastfeeding women. It may be more likely in women with a history of mood disorders and may also be worsened by lack of sleep.
Getting help
If you think you may be experiencing D-MER, you may like to get advice and support from your doctor. Since D-MER is uncommon, it may help to speak to a doctor with a special interest in breastfeeding as they are more likely to be familiar with the condition.
Just knowing these feelings have a name may help you to cope with the symptoms. In mild to moderate D-MER, lifestyle changes can help. Specific strategies that other mums have found helpful include:
distracting themselves while breastfeeding (e.g. by eating or reading)
avoiding things which make their symptoms worse (such as stress, dehydration and caffeine)
prioritising sleep over less important activities and asking for support.
If your D-MER is severe, your doctor may discuss using a specific medicine or herbal product.
One mother's experience of D-MER
If you have read Harry Potter they talk about the creatures that suck the soul out of you and when they are around it makes you cold and you start to focus on negative things and fall into this abyss of negative thoughts — that is how D-MER was for me at times.
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