Feeding a breastfed baby when mum is away

Looking after a baby can feel a bit uncertain at first. This guide will help you feel confident feeding a breastfed baby with expressed milk and soothing them until Mum returns.

Understanding breastmilk and breastfed babies  

Breastmilk is the normal food for babies. It looks different to cows’ milk or formula. Unlike milks that have been processed, which always look the same, breastmilk will form layers after standing. This is normal. Gently swirl the breastmilk to mix it again.  

Breastfed babies may take different amounts of expressed breastmilk at each feed. They often have smaller feeds than babies who are fed other drinks. Be guided by the baby’s mother and the baby as to how much to feed at one time.  

For health reasons, the expressed milk that the mum provides should only be used for her baby. Milk from different mothers should not be mixed together.  

How you can help mum  

You can be a big help to the baby’s mum if you are positive about her leaving breastmilk for her baby. Some mums find it easy to express milk. For others it takes quite a lot of effort, but because it is very important, they want to continue. Your support can make a big difference, especially if she is coming to your home or centre to feed her baby. The baby will settle more quickly, too. 

There are times when a baby may go through a fussy period and for a few days may seem to need more milk. If you find this is happening, you can let the mum know and she can provide more expressed milk. The fussy period should stop in a few days. If the mum knows you support her efforts to give breastmilk to her baby, you will be taking very positive steps to help her continue breastfeeding. 

It’s important to follow safe steps when storing, warming and serving expressed milk. See Preparing expressed breastmilk for clear instructions. 

• If possible, meet baby a few times (including a feed time) before you’re the caregiver. This can really help.  
• If you’re the only person who offers the bottle, baby often learns to accept it more easily.
• Some babies need time to get used to a teat — it feels and tastes different from Mum’s skin. Our article Helping baby take a bottle has practical tips.

If baby refuses to drink from a bottle, try these gentle options:

• Feeding the milk in a small cup - you could remove the teat and use the bottle as a cup. Hold baby upright and start with small sips.
• Older babies may do well with a straw or sipper cup.
• Gentle rocking or walking can help baby settle enough to feed.
• A familiar scent can soothe. If Mum leaves a clean item of clothing, baby may cuddle into it while feeding.

Breastfed babies are used to controlling the milk flow as they feed. A fast flow teat can be stressful—a baby gulping may be a sign that they’re trying not to choke, rather than being very hungry. Paced bottle feeding helps babies manage the flow and stay comfortable.

Many breastfed babies are used to being cuddled or rocked to sleep. Fast, gentle back-patting with slow side-to-side movement can soothe. Using a baby carrier may also help--keep baby high and close enough that you could easily kiss their head. 

If baby becomes unsettled, try holding them and speaking softly. A small amount of expressed milk in a clean bottle, small cup or on a spoon can help keep baby calm until Mum arrives. Many mums like to feed as soon as they return — it’s comfortable for them and supports milk supply.

Give baby the last of the expressed milk. If they still need more before Mum returns, contact her first before offering anything else (even water). She may be able to come earlier or send extra milk. If baby is eating other foods, only offer foods they’ve had before, and check with Mum first.

Contact Mum if you need urgent information about feeding her baby. Call the Breastfeeding Helpline if you have questions about storing, preparing or feed a baby expressed breastmilk. 

The Carer’s guide to the breastfed baby is a downloadable leaflet with tips for storing, preparing and feeding expressed milk — perfect to give to anyone caring for your baby. Access and download this leaflet now.